justin and i received a letter.
(for those who aren't Latter Day Saints and don't understand, forgive
me. much of the following may not make sense. information can be found here or feel free to email me.)
maybe a little background- here and... a somewhat speedy version...
we met in a mountaineering class at UVU. he was very cute and i heard him talk about rock climbing... no guts, no glory- so i gave him my number. we dated, much to the chagrin of my parents... you see josh was older (8+ yrs) and wasn't active in my church and, and, and... the list went on. they didn't approve of him, so i of course continued to date him... (aging has not affected the stubbornness.) josh and i were together whenever other responsibilities didn't interfere. he said i love you first. i waited a few weeks. then thoughts of marriage followed... (after all i am female.)
two weeks before my 20th birthday (august 10 2002) i was married for eternity in temple of the Lord to an
incredible man. tall, check. handsome, check. generous heart, double
check.
mr. and mrs. brereton.
we worked hard, played harder. loved with all of our hearts.
a friend once pointed out everyone who knew josh considered him "a
brother," not just a friend. josh gave everything and anything he had- time,
energy, and money to anyone in need. he saw what made each person
amazing.
josh made me feel amazing and powerful and loved.
then, during a church youth activity, he collapsed from a heart problem. (this is a story for another day, but i will share... one day.) his family and i were blessed with 5 more weeks to spend with josh before passed away on december 9, 2002. a day short of our four month anniversary.
years passed. i grew into myself. i learned about my passions, my dislikes and my limits.
and then came Justin. we met while working on a design project. we were friends... then we were more.
we dated for a year... then.
we were married in american fork canyon. october 5th, 2007. it was beautiful.

i love this man.
we were married civilly because of my previous sealing. but we looked forward to being sealed for eternity...
and so we jumped through hoops. did a few cartwheels. even a handstand or two... and we got the go ahead from these wonderful gentlemen.
The first presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
And i am filled with joy at the prospect of being with Justin forever. not even death will be able to separate us. i love him with a depth i didn't know was possible... and it continues to grow. i am beyond a lucky girl. i am blessed.
everyone agrees. it is so happy, so exciting.
but my heart is also broken... in order to be sealed to justin, my sealing to josh was canceled.
i know this is the best for our future family. i know i will be (and have already been) married to justin much longer. i know everything will work itself out. but it still hurts a little.
and so i write this... mostly for myself, but also to remember and honor my first marriage.
josh, thank you. you will always be a part of me. i love you.
justin, thank you. you are my now and i LOVE it. i love spending time with you. i love laughing with you. i love being held by you. i also love how well you understand my heart and accept the sealing topic is hard for me... thank you for being the one to ask if i was happy and understand when i shook my head and then nodded and then cried. i am enjoying "today" with you so much, i can't imagine the joy the future holds. i love you.